Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Baby James jokes

This is what happens when you use kids as vote-getters, they tend to commit mistakes. What happened off-stage between mother Kris Aquino and her son, Baby James? This is what.

Joke 1:

After that faux pas on stage, Baby James was whisked away. Kris confronted her kid off-stage.

Kris: " You, baby James, you ha! After rehearsing with you many times, even bought candy and chocolates, you still mentioned Villar, not uncle Noynoy's name! Why, baby James, why?"

Baby James: " Mama, it's your fault! You cut my speech. I was trying to say, ` VILLAR...ROYO!"

Joke 2:

Kris confronting Baby James: " Baby james ha, you naughty kid! Why did you mentioned Villar's name instead of uncle Noy?"

Baby James: " Mama, no. The crowd shouted hello. Di ba kandidato ni Gloria si Villar? I thought they were asking who was on the other line when Gloria said "Hello"

Joke 3:

(after Baby James mentioned Villar's name on stage, Kris whisked her son away and confronted him off-stage)

Kris to Baby James: " Hay, naku baby James. You're like your father, balimbing!"

Baby James: " Why mama, bawal bang mangarap?"

Joke 4:

(after that disastrous incident on stage, Kris did not give Baby James formula milk for a week. Kris hired tutors, speech experts and even called on LP spokesperson Ed Lacierda to help him in rehearsals with Baby James. When the group saw that Baby James is already okey and ready to face the crowd, they, then presented him in one of the LP rallies)

Kris: " Okey ha, I apologize po people for that incident in so-so days ago. Now, here is Baby James. O baby James, sino talaga ang dapat nating iboto?"

Baby James (with emasciated face): " Noynoy! Noynoy!"

Kris: " Very good, Baby James, very goood!"

Baby James: " Noynoy!Noynoy!Noynoy! Ab...noy!"

Joke 5:

Baby James was whisked away when he committed that faux pas on stage. Kris confronted Baby James, who was crying.

Kris: " You, ha, Baby James, you naughty kid, you! Why did you said Villar instead of uncle Noynoy?"

Baby James (crying): " Mama, no. I heard someone shout "C-5!" so I said "Villar"!

Joke 6:

Kris to Baby James: " As a punishment for saying the name of Villar, sige, baby james, instead of enrolling you in Lozada's swimming class, i'll just let you swim sa dagat ng basura!"

Joke 7:

Kris to Baby James: " Baby James, why did you mentioned Villar? You like Villar ba?"

Baby James: " Mama, I heard kasi Papa mentioning Manny Villar's name. Villar reportedly offered Papa millions of pesos just for him to join an NP basketball game!"

Kris: " What??"

Baby James: " Yes mama. And kasama daw dun one of Willie Revillame's dancers!"

Joke 8:

After that incident on stage, Kris and Baby James had a very serious talk off-stage.

Kris: " Baby James, I'm really disappointed. Imagine, I've been trying to make you say "Noynoy" and all you said was "Villar". Why son, why?"

Baby James: " Mama, I thought they're asking who's the `liar' so I said "Vil-liar"?

Joke 9:

Shortly after that incident on stage, Baby James was whisked away and punished.

Kris: " Since you mentioned Villar and not uncle Noy's name, you're grounded for a week! No Wowowee for you Baby James!"

Baby James: " I'm sorry mommy, really very sorry."

Kris: "He, walang sorry-sorry! You stay here so that you'll realize your mistake."

Baby James: " Okey mama. So, sorry talaga!"

A few days later, Baby James met his "gang" infront of their Valle Verde house gate.

Baby Lito: " Hey, bro, heard that one over at TV patrol, what really happened?"

Baby James (whispering): " Hehehe. You know Tolits, I really did mention Villar's name. And you know why?"

Baby Lito: " Why nga baby james?"

Baby James: " Kasi...(motioned for Baby Lito to come closer)...crush ko si Camille, daughter of Villar!"

Baby Lito: " Really?"

Baby James: " Yup. And she promised to marry me as soon as I grow up. She told me walang problema if we get married, since di daw problema ang bahay, they have lots of it! Sabi nga niya, pag naging president daw ang Papa nya, pati mga bundok, patatayuan nila ng sabdibisyon!"

Baby Lito: " Cool!"

Joke 10:

After Baby James mentioned Villar's name, Kris asked her nanny not to give Baby James candy and to guard Baby James. Unknown to Kris, the nanny is a solid Binay supporter. After a week, Kris felt sorry for what she did, so she again took Baby James to one of the LP sorties.

Kris (presenting Baby James to the crowd): " O yan, people, here's Baby James. He will now say who's his candidate for president. Baby James, sinong dapat iboto ng mga tao for president?"

Baby James: (without battling an eyelash) " Noynoy, uncle Noy, iboto nyo po!"

Kris: " Very good Baby James. Now, sino naman ang iboboto as vice president?"

Baby James: " Si Binay!"

Kris: "Ngek!! Nanny, take Baby James away, please!"

(off-stage)

Kris: " Baby James, this is the second time! Right ka na sa first, you bungled naman the second. It's uncle Mar dapat. Why Binay?"

Baby James (crying): " Kasi, I saw the candy wrapper with the name Binay, so I shouted Binay. Besides both uncle Noy and Binay's names ends with "y", di ba?