Monday, April 12, 2010

Philippine political tidbits

So far, because of how low presidential and vice presidential candidates regard Filipino voters, here are some tidbits about what they're telling us:



  • Three candidates claimed that they belonged to the poor: Villar, Binay and Erap. Truth: Only Binay really was born poor. 
  • How many candidates ran because God told them to: Two. Villanueva and JC delos Reyes.
  • How many candidates ran just because he/she wants to spite another candidate? One, Jamby Madrigal.
  • How many candidates said that their kin died due to poverty? Two, Villar and Binay.
  • How many candidates said they ran because of their dead mother/father? One, Noynoy.
  • How many candidates said they ran because of their dead brother/sister? One, Villar.
  • How many candidates said the other one is looney? One, Villar.
  • How many candidates said he'll not demean himself by fighting or disputing the one who accused him of being a looney? One, Noynoy Aquino.
  • How many candidates love the environment? Two, Nicanor Perlas and Loren Legarda.
  • How many candidates own big estates/lands? Villar, Noynoy, Teodoro, Mar Roxas, Loren Legarda, Erap, Binay, Gordon, Bayani, Perlas, Jamby Madrigal.
  • How many candidates are under debt because they ran? Only one. JC delos Reyes.
  • How many candidates can speak different dialects? Only one, Jay Sonza.
  • How many candidates are multi-millionaires? Villar, Noynoy, Perlas, Teodoro, Roxas, Legarda, Erap, Binay, Gordon, Teodoro, Edu Manzano, Bayani, Perlas and Jamby.
  • How many candidates are billionaires? Two--Villar and Roxas.
  • How many candidates diverted roads? Only one--Villar.
  • How many of our candidates married once or twice or was divorced? Only one, Loren.
  • How many are unmarried? Only one, Noynoy.
  • How many of our candidates were formerly government officials? Villar, Noynoy, Erap, Gibo, Binay, Loren, Bayani, Gordon and Jamby.
  • How many of our candidates smoke? Only one, Noynoy.
  • How many of our candidates guested in Wowowee? Two--Villar and Mar Roxas.
  • How many of our candidates bought lands from indigenous people? One, Villar.
  • How many of our candidates know how to fly? One, Gibo.
  • How many of our candidates have disputes over their lands? Only two---Villar and Noynoy.
  • How many of our candidates dislike Gloria? Noynoy, Villar(?), Erap, Binay, Loren (?), Mar Roxas, JC delos Reyes, Nicanor Perlas.
  • How many of our candidates like Gloria? Gibo and Villar (?)
  • How many of our candidates have the most trapos in their slate? Villar then Gibo, then Noynoy then Erap.
Okey. Did I leave something behind? And did you notice something different? MOST OF THEM DON'T EVEN HAVE A STAND ON RELEVANT ISSUES THAT BEDEVIL OUR SOCIETY!!!