Of bitter-sweet smiles and betting your life as an OFW

When I saw those pictures yesterday of half-smiling Overseas Filipino Workers (OFWs) descending from the escalator with Mrs. Arroyo, who was also smiling, I told myself, what was really on the minds of my fellow brothers and sisters with her? Were they smiling because, at long last, they're home? Or, they're smiling because they were asked to?

Those smiles, as what my psychology professor taught me, hide real emotions, probably of hate, of frustration, of sadness. Those were bitter-sweet smiles. Imagine, you go to great lengths, leaving your loved ones behind here to seek a better life abroad then you find that the country you found yourself in is worse than the one you left behind. Such is the irony and even the tragedy of life.

The irony of yesterday's photo of Mrs. Arroyo and the OFWs was that the greatest recruiter of OFWs probably felt totally responsible and did the right thing--haul 100 of these distressed OFWs home. And for what? To help them renew their lives here? Or prepare them and send them abroad again?

Or, this is just all part of the charade? Yes, those people who work abroad are heroes, for were it not for them, our economy and that bitch in Malacanang would have been ousted years ago.

That photo of Mrs. Arroyo with the OFWs yesterday shows you the real "gains" of those expensive trips abroad. Mrs. Arroyo goes on these trips like a head hunter, a recruiter, trying to secure jobs for Filipinos abroad, while making no effort at improving the state of affairs here to generate those jobs here.

That's the sorry state of our affairs that most of my countrymen think of finishing their college courses just to land that job in the States or elsewhere. Most young people only think of finishing a nursing course to get that US visa. Others well, settle for demeaning work elsewhere.

I bet you half or even most of those brought home yesterday will again, try to get another jab at it (meaning go abroad) sometime soon. They will just cool off for a while, visit friends and relatives and again buy a Bulletin to scour for jobs abroad. These people will never tire until they get that dream job in another country. As they say, swertehan lang yan. So what if its Malaysia? So what if its Indonesia, Papua New Guinea, Lebanon, Brazil or even Peru, or Iran, Iraq or conflict-torn Afghanistan, countries worse than ours? For as long as the job is not here in the Philippines.

The life of an OFW is like betting on lotto. Or a life like betting in a horse race. You lose some, you win some. A few gets the jackpot, while the rest bet their lives in a daily fashion, always exposed to 100% risks, just to get that comfortable life.

When I left for Singapore to work as an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW), I experienced first hand how it is to be uprooted from your beloved land and settle in another place. You get to live in a two storey, five room house all by yourself. You get to explore other countries all by yourself. You get to cook, laundry and buy your own stuff by walking to a store, all by yourself. And you get to roam around big shopping malls and buy nothing, just kill time, all by yourself. And you always walk, use public transpo and felt joy when someone, a friend, offers you a ride.

You were a celebrity in your own country and you suddenly realize that you're just a speck in this alien world. That's a shocker. There were moments of denial, of frustration, of sadness, of joy (especially when I see a bargain book or a 70% off sale of Puma shoes or TOPMEN shirts and polos).

I love going to Indonesia on a weekend because that reminds me of home. When I get there and find that Indonesia looks like any other Philippine province, I comfort myself and think that I am home, only to wake up and realize that these people I meet can't speak Tagalog or English.

Those long holidays especially when its Chinese New Year found me wandering in the vast rice fields of Vietnam, or Laos, or Thailand and Cambodia and I told myself, I am home. But, those golden Buddhist temples, those majestic ruins of a proud civilization and those long stretches of honky tonk bars in Phuket, Bangkok and Geylang in Singapore, reminded me that I am still not home.

For years, I was a citizen without a country. A vagabond wandering Asia, wondering what the hell am I doing here when I can go back to my own country, launch a revolution and change everything so that people like me will not ever think of working abroad again.

That convinced me to leave that lovely job in Singapore and go back here. I told myself, I will not, nor ever leave my country. I will try to stay here.

I tried working for companies here, only to find some fellow Pinoys still afflicted with that crab mentality. Working abroad really changed your perspective, especially when you learned of new managerial skills or new workplace attitudes and when you try to apply it here, people look at you with utter disbelief and show you those stupid wolfish smiles. Sometimes you think, was I wrong in going back?

I had a chance of talking with OFW advocate Susan Toots Ople. And during those chats, I found that many Filipinos are really suffering abroad. If we can only re-create our society and improve our economic situation so that the gains of democracy would spill over to the rest of us, that would surely be the day when fellow Filipinos would think of becoming a lawyer or a doctor or again, an engineer just to work in San Miguel or Universal Robina Corporation.

It starts with us, says Ople. We have the power to change things. That power can be harnessed for change.

Let's improve the local employment scenario by creating a full sub-department in DOLE, says Ople. Time for government to prioritize local employment instead of encouraging Filipinos to leave.

Let's craft legislation that would improve the domestic economy.

Let's heal the rifts that separates us Filipinos so that peace would reign here and deter people from leaving conflict areas and cross the Sulu seas to live in Borneo. Let's maximize our fertile lands to create food so that prices would be lower and people will feel blessed living here instead of cursing themselves for staying here.

We have the choice whether to allow this endless cycle of a lotto-like life or not. Let's cut that life out and create a society that improves lives, not a society that condemns everyone to ignominy.

That starts by exercising our power of choice. We have a choice---to reject this pitiful state of existence or re-create? That, says Ople, should be exercised judiciously.

Cut the crap of choosing people who spend billions just to be elected. End that shit of electing popular people without brains. Tell those people who run for office just to get power to talk to the hand. And tell those people who wants to inspire but does not have a vision, to stop wasting our time.

We need someone who leads, who has a vision, and who really has the will to effect change. Do we have him now in our midst?